Ron de Jeremy - THE adult RUM (Review with Pictures/Video)

Word on the street is Ron Jeremy makes one hell of a stiff drink. We learned this the hard way at the Ron de Jeremy rum tasting. It went down as smooth as “the Hedgehog” himself, leaving the men with swagger and the women satisfied.

I’ll be the first to admit that rum is not my drink of choice. I would never order rum at the bar, especially straight up (bourbon being my usual social lubricant). With this in mind, I decided to structure the review around a rum tasting, choosing the best cigar lounge in Pittsburgh, Executive Cigars, as the fitting locale.

The RSVPs to the rum tasting went something like this:

Step 1: Confusion – “Uhh…what?”

Step 2: Denial – “Is that a real rum? No way.”

Step 3: Acceptance – “That’s bad ass. I’ll be there for sure.”

Step 4: Curiosity – “Will Ron be there?”

Ron de Jeremy, much like its namesake, proved to be the life of the party. The bottle itself even resembles the legendary manwhore, short and stout. The label is riddled with sexual puns and innuendos. Even the manufacture, One Eyed Spirits, has sexual connotations, unless my mind is just in the gutter. As per the name, “Ron” is the Spanish word for Rum; therefore Ron de Jeremy technically means “Jeremy’s rum.” Glad to see my 7th grade Spanish class has finally paid off.

Ron de Jeremy - Rum

“I love Ron de Jeremy – the taste is long and full, and the finish is smooth, which suits me perfectly! And I love the idea. Ron means Rum! I am very proud of my Ron and I hope my many friends all over the world will have a chance to try it. Cheers!” – Ron Jeremy

Handcrafted by a legend in his own field, Cuban master distiller, Francisco “Don Pancho” Fernandez, this 7-year old rum hails from Panama. Ron de Jeremy doesn’t discriminate. It mixes well with just about anything you throw at it, but is also incredibly smooth straight up or on the rocks.

We offered guests the choice of a Cuban Mohito or Cuba Libre to pay homage to Don Pancho. They could also sip on the naughty nectar straight-up as I did, which surprisingly was incredibly smooth with a very good aftertaste. Pretty soon, everyone was ordering Ron de Jeremy “money shots” and inhibitions fell to the wayside. I think everyone wholeheartedly believed they were getting laid that night and this was no doubt the direct result of the Hedgehog’s alcoholic aphrodisiac.

In closing, I will say that it is humanly impossible to drink Ron de Jeremy rum with a sourpuss. Drink Jack, Jim or Jose if you want to drown your sorrows. Drink Ron if you truly want to party hard.