![It’s true. Men are simple creatures. It doesn’t take much to make us happy. We enjoy the little things in life. It’s those things that make our lives easier and more enjoyable. While women worry about the brand name or stigma associated with a product or item, we are more concerned with the functionality and [...]](http://guymanningham.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/33-things-every-guys-should-have.jpg "33 Things Every Guy Should Have")
It’s true. Men are simple creatures. It doesn’t take much to make us happy. We enjoy the little things in life. It’s those things that make our lives easier and more enjoyable. While women worry about the brand name or stigma associated with a product or item, we are more concerned with the functionality and practicality of the things we own. Here is a list (in no particular order) of 33 things every man should have.
1. Sharp Pocket Knife
Every man should carry a razor sharp pocket knife with him at all times (except through airport security). You never know when you will need to cut something and it’s always good as a “weapon of opportunity.”
2. Headlamp Light
Whether you’re fishing, hunting, working under a car or just plain dicking around in the dark, a headlamp is a life-saver. Many of stubbed toe and fish-hooked finger could have been prevented with the simple purchase of this nifty little bugger.
3. Gun
Fact is, we never know if or when we will ever have to protect ourselves, or more importantly, our family. It’s good to be prepared. Any attacker will crap themselves if you pull a gun (even a wimpy .22) out on them in self-defense.
4. Jumper Cables
If you’ve driven longer than a year, you know cars are pretty unpredictable. It’s always a good idea to have a set in your trunk. Who knows… the next time you see a hot chick broke down on the side of the road, you could actually help her out instead of just driving by slowly thinking of a clever pick-up line.
5. Compass
We all know how unreliable technology can be. In the event your GPS craps the bed on you, a compass is a great fail safe.
6. Work Boots
Nothing screams rookie carpenter more than wearing busted-ass gym shoes on the construction site. Do your toes (and ego) a favor and get yourself a good pair of work boots.
7. Tool Set
A good set of tools is a must for any man. Knowing how to use them is another thing. If Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor taught us anything, it’s, “The instructions are just the manufacturer’s opinion of how it should be put together.”
8. Man Cave
Perhaps the most important room in your castle is the man cave. It’s the place you and your buddies disappear to when the game comes on so as to not be bothered by the squawking chickens. Get as rowdy as you want and she can’t say peep. You won’t find any womanly decorations, doilies or flowers here. It smells like stale beer, leather and popcorn farts and that’s the way God meant it to be.
9. Fishing Rod
Even if you’re not an avid fisherman, it’s a good idea to have a fishing rod and some fishing gear. Any married man will tell you, sometimes it’s good to just get away and fishing is an excellent excuse. Whether you actually fish or not is entirely up to you.
10. Outdoor Grill
Both propane and charcoal have their advantages. Propane is easier and thus has the edge in my opinion. Nothing beats grilling out, no matter what the time of year. Make sure you invite Guy Manningham over to your next barbecue. He likes his steak Pittsburgh rare.
11. Fully Stocked Bar
Save money. Drink at home. It’s always nice to have a drink after work and nightcaps are a no-brainer if you have a good booze selection waiting for you at house. Double Jim Beam on the rocks…don’t mind if I do.
12. Dependable Watch
Although smart phones have virtually replaced every product in our lives, it’s good to have a reliable watch for a few reasons. A. Cell phone batteries die. B: You may not always have cell phone reception. C. Checking your cell phone at a business meeting or date may be considered rude. D. Watches are a good fashion accessory and women notice them.
13. Comfortable Chair
Your dad understood it. Archie Bunker did too. Nothing says “king of the castle” like having your very own designated comfy chair. Hell hath no fury like a dad who catches his snotty-nosed punk kid sitting in his throne.
14. Cigar Humidor
Nothing screams victory like smoking a big honking cigar. On the golf course, at the bar (that still allows you to smoke), in your man cave or just chilling on your porch, a cigar is a great way to relax and enjoy the simple things in life. A humidor will keep your cigar stash from looking like Magda’s skin on “There’s Something About Mary.”
15. Golf Clubs
Golf is not only a great outdoor activity for exercise and comradery. It is also used to network and establish business relationships. Not to mention, it’s a legitimate excuse to get away from the missus and drink beer all day.
16. Poker Table w/ Poker Set
Poker nights are a must. When it’s your turn to host, you don’t want to be playing on the kitchen table with your daughter’s Go Fish cards, using peanut M&Ms as ante.
17. Dart Board
Make sure you have a REAL dart board (none of that pansy-ass plastic crap). Besides, keeping score manually will help retain some of that 3rd grade arithmetic.
18. Pool Table
Keep your stick chalked. Having some pool skills will make you one step closer to becoming a barroom hero. You may need to practice at home so as to not embarrass yourself.
19. Dog
They don’t call dogs “man’s best friend” for nothing. A dog is loyal to the end (not like those cheating cats). Also, dogs attract girls like crazy as it shows you can take care of a living, breathing organism without killing it.
20. Pair of Comfortable Jeans
Enough with the skinny jeans already! If you can’t bend over without castrating yourself, your pants are too tight. Comfort is where it’s at. Besides, no one wants to see your ca-male toe. That being said, finding a pair of jeans that fit just right is where it’s at.
21. Mountain Bike
Mountain biking is an excellent way to get your lazy butt off the couch and exercise. Also, with uncertain gas prices, it might be your best alternative for transportation.
22. Vegetable Garden
Save money at the store and eat healthier with a home garden. It’s a good hobby to get into and teaches you the importance of self-sufficiency. Also, as gas prices rise, the price of produce will skyrocket. Your loser friends might make fun of you until you share gardening secrets with the hot blond from Starbucks, to which you can tell them to suck it.
23. Hammock / Porch Swing
Few things in this world are better than lounging in a hammock on a hot summer day with a tall glass of spiked iced tea. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, run (don’t walk) to your nearest store and get yourself a hammock. Getting in and out are the hard parts.
24. Heavy Bag w/ Free Weights
In order for you to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, you gotta be in shape. Nothing gets you in ass-kicking condition like beating the tar out of an inanimate heavy bag and lifting free weights prison-style.
25. Bottle Opener Keychain
Probably the most handy tool ever invented, the bottle opener keychain is a hallmark in American ingenuity. Guy Manningham bottle opener keychains coming soon!
26. Hair Clippers
One way to save money in the recession is to cut your own hair. If you don’t trust your palsy, have a reliable friend help you out or else you might end up looking like the lost member of the Legion of Doom. Although nothing quite beats a straight-razor shave from a professional barber, I can’t see spending $10-40 a pop on a haircut.
27. 4×4 Vehicle
Your 4-banger hatchback might save you tons of cashola at the pump, but nothing is more American or manly than a big ass 4×4. Snow…no problem. Mud…no problem. Giant effing rocks…no problem.
28. Tailored Suit
It’s always a good idea to have at least one (or more) tailored suits around. You never know when your next interview, swanky dinner date, wedding or funeral will be. It’s good to be prepared. 7 out of 8 James Bond’s agree. Pierce Brosnan just had to mess up our poll.
29. Outdoor Fire Pit
Chilling next to the fire pit is one of the best things life has to offer. You don’t have to wait till the next time you go camping to smell like a campfire. Hopefully your town allows open pit fires. If not, petition those commi bastards.
30. House Slippers
Comfort is king in this castle. Get yourself some heavy duty wool-lined moccasin house slippers and quit your bitchin’ about cold feet.
31. Good Water Pressure
Nothing ruins my day more than low water pressure in the shower. A good shower should almost hurt. It’s like the back massage your selfish ex girlfriend always promised you, but failed to deliver.
32. Work Bench
Don’t ruin your coffee table fixing your end table. Get yourself a sturdy work bench that will act as ground zero on your home renovation to-do list. Work benches help you organize that mess of a tool collection you have been accumulating since the 80′s into a neat work area Bob Villa would be proud of.
33. Old Leather Sofa
Perhaps the most comfortable thing on planet Earth is a beat-to-shit old leather sofa. Give me my leather sofa, a fat cigar and a glass of scotch on the rocks and whatever troubles I had before quickly evaporate into nothing. Megan Fox not included.
I would also suggest a nice lighter whether it is a zippo or butane lighter. Great for cigars and looks much classier than your .85 bic when lighting a girls cig at the bar, even if you don’t smoke many hot girls do. As Lois Griffen said “Remember if she smokes she pokes.”
I agree that you need to get away from the 0.85 bic, but butane isn’t the way to go. A true cigar smoker does matches to try and avoid the butane taste. I have a few good butane torch lighters I have when I smoke outside, but matches always taste better.
Agreed, Stafferty. Nothing beats a good set of stick matches.
Great article for gift ideas! I see a mountain bike in my man’s future.
However, why is it that just women are preocupied with “the brand name or stigma associated with a product or item?”
I know one man (no names revealed) who is very particular about the brand name of his items – down to his Listerine mouth wash (never to be confused with Scope!)
What about the mighty Fleshlight? … Care to comment about it? Beats the conventional tube sock and the box tissue.
Too much info, Jesus haha.
How about a real man gets real p*ssy?
I would suggest a college education and a job. also a best friend. A vegetable garden, really?
A job goes without saying. And a vegetable garden is about the most self-sufficient thing you can have, especially in these uncertain economic times.
if there is a complete economic collapse in this country your gun will be more important than a vegetable garden.
A job does not go without saying, a lot of people think they can have what ever they want without a job, again as long as they have the gun.
Although a gun is definitely important as a man’s means of protecting his herd, a vegetable garden is the most self-sufficient thing anyone can do.
No multi-tool? They’re much handier than just a pocket knife, though I do have both. Also, suggesting a 4×4 just to have a 4×4 seems a little silly, as does requiring one to take up 12 new hobbies.
It’s a matter of opinion.
With a fishing rod (not pole) you need a boat. Also, a really fast desktop computer and a smartphone.
You don’t necessarily need a boat to fish. Also, I don’t think I would ever have a boat. I’ll just always have friends who have boats and avoid the headache and costs that come with it. As useful as my smartphone is, I sometimes wish I wasn’t so reliant on staying connected to the rest of the world at all times. It’s good to go off the grid sometimes and just leave the phone at home.
I think you think all men are unintelligent laborers.
And why is that?
Hey America, there’s nothing manly about owning a gun.
I beg to differ. The best defense against tyranny is a well armed populous.
You. Are. A. Pussy.
I really not think the wet bar, or the golf clubs are worth a crap.. except maybe to use the golf clubs to hit whiny ass yuppies with while they set at the wet bar, and try to impress each other in their tailored suits, and smoking those nasty ass cigars!
but also great to add to the survival kit and no not for sex with wild animals or domestic just in case someone makes the comment to my post LOL..
A small survival kit would be the best thing to add to this list.. and keep it in the 4×4 .. with the following items, solar blanket, flint, water proof matches, first aid kit, duct tape, buck knife, hatchet, folding shovel, 60m of climbing rope, several sizes of carabiners, 20lb test fishing line, selection of fishing supplies hooks, weights, bottled water, and at least one change of clothes and shoes.
The Gun .. well If you must.. but I’ll take a Bow over the gun any day..I can always make more arrows.. what the hell ya gonna do with the gun if you run out of ammo !??
One other suggestion how about condoms .. not only great if you meet a damsel in distress and she decides to pay you back for the help
But the one thing EVERY MAN should have is the love of a good woman .. or man if that is your thing..
Good suggestions, Sean. Not sure where you were going with the wild animals thing though haha and what good is your survival kit if you can’t make an impromtu condom out of sheep intestine? Perhaps a CB Radio would be a good entry as well. It is true that every man should have a good woman, but sadly they are a rarity. As a military veteran and survivalist, I agree every man should be prepared for the Apocalypse, but that’s the topic of an article I have yet to write. Besides, you can’t conceal a bow and arrow very well. But when the Chinese come to take us over, I know who to call. Wolverines!
You’re confusing this with Items for surviving the zombie apocalypse. If you live in a major metropolitan area a lot of the things on your list are useless for day to day living
I disagree. These are items all guys should own.
Also you leave out the bottled water and get one of the new water purifier bottles that allow you to drink any water from any body of water
Is this an article on what guys should own or preparing for the apocalypse? Geeez people!
yes. Every man should be prepared for the apocalypse. ti’s the ultimate in self-reliance scenarios.
Dam I need to get a man cave maybe someone will buy me one as a gift
A real man doesn’t need a bottle opener key chain, they should be able to adapt to their surroundings to open bottles.
True… or a girlfriend with a snaggletooth.
I second Mr Strom… article coming soon perhaps?
I simply couldn’t depart your website prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual information a person provide for your visitors? Is gonna be again incessantly to check out new posts
I suggest a woodstove for men in colder climates and a chainsaw. Oh yeah and a tractor is pretty manly to. Extra point for every acre over 10 that you own.
Agreed, Tom. Thanks for the input. Guy Manningham approves.
No one, man or woman, needs any of these things. This list is highly subjective, based around the creator’s interests, and derived from societal expectations of gender (which change generationally)
If you disagree with my list of what GUYS (“guys”being the operative word) should own, feel free to create your own list of spray tan, skinny jeans and whatever other gender-ambiguous items you wish. This is GuyManningham.com, not Metrosexual Monthly.
I don’t understand all the hate from everyone. I think this list for the most part is pretty accurate. At least from my own experiences
Some people would bitch if you hung them with a new rope haha. Thanks, Colton.
Ah yes, a humidor. Every man needs one of these filled with some stoagies, even if he doesn’t smoke.
Agreed!
I agree with your list for the most part. Although for some of these items it will take some guys a little time to accumulate. Great post.
HD TV !!!!!!!
This is for the dude that thinks fishing requires a boat. I guess you never grew up fishing on the shore, rocks, or pier? I’ve been fishing all my life, still fish, and I don’t own a boat. I do however own a lawn chair, and it goes with me, along with my cooler and a half case PBR
Where in this article do you see me saying a fisherman requires a boat? I think that skunk beer you’re drinking has damaged your brain cells.